I am a mom but not in your ordinary terms. I stumbled upon motherhood when I was twenty. It wasn’t really something I planed on, but God did. I came to Mexico when I was 19, fresh out of High School to wash laundry for a year at Rancho Sordo Mudo, a school for the Deaf. At the end of the year I was asked to come back as dorm parent for the next school term. I was ecstatic, I had hoped I would be asked and I was! I didn’t picture myself down here for very long just another year or two. I planned to go to college even though by that point I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, it was just what you did. I thought about going to Bible College, that could be fun. Yet God once again had other plans. Since that first year of mommyhood I have been a “mama” to 30 deaf girls. Some I have had for seven years others for only a few months but they all hold a special place in my heart. I can’t imagine life without them. We’ve gone through ups and downs good and bad yet I still love them dearly. Some girls that have left I keep in contact with via webcam or facebook. Others I haven’t heard from in a few years. Even then they are still my girls. I still think about them, pray for them and love them.
Would you know that’s I’m already a grandma and have been one for a couple years now? How’s that for a 26 year old? Mom of 30, Grandma to 4. That’s what happens when you’re a mom to girls only a few years younger than yourself.
I think one of the hardest things is that they are not mine to keep. At the end of each school year I have to give them back to their own families. Sometimes their parents don’t bring them back and never say why. It rips your heart out. There’s a whole handful that I don’t even know where they are anymore. Most of my precious girls come from single mom homes, with families that don’t know sign language and don’t have a relationship with Christ. That’s when I remember who’s they truly are; not mine, not their family’s but God’s. He knows where all my ninas are right now. He is there for them in their time of darkness that I can’t be. He is right by their side.
It’s cool how God works. How his plans are so different than our own. Ten years ago I would never have still seen myself still here, in Mexico taking care off a bunch of girls. Yet here I am. I have made so many wonderful relationships over my time spent here. I have many amazing “daughters” and some of my closets friendship have been started here. I don’t know what the future holds. Yes, there’s still that part of me that longs to fall in love, to get married and have children. For now this is where my Heavenly Papa has me. For how long I don’t know. I’ll be here till he leads me elsewhere. For now I am learning to simply trust him and enjoy the life he has given me and cherish the special moments I have with my girlies.
This post is part of Week Long Blog Hop,