The Introvert’s Guide to Hospitality- 6 Essential Tips for the Introverted Hostess

5 Essential Tips for the Introverted

Hospitality, the simple act of inviting someone into your home to partake in life. Your simple, beautiful, messy, and broken life, and the grace-filled journey that we are all on.

A cup of tea with scones, a mug of coffee, and a slice of shortbread. It doesn’t need to be complicated. All it may be is bearing your soul to a kindred spirit sitting on the other side of the couch.

The introvert in me thrives on simple. I genuinely enjoy people and I, despite what introverts seem to be known for, enjoy having people in my home.

My years in Mexico taught me to savor people and their company. A dorm mama of many needed company to mix up the day, even if was just a friend and her niece. Really when you have 16 girls, adding one or two more to the mix doesn’t really feel like that much more.

Sometimes people dropped in the midst of kimchi making or cloth pad making. I learned to embrace it and go with it, even when the puzzled questions as to what I was making came about…

Birthdays, random tea parties, outdoor picnics, I love them all! I am a casual gal, so I thrive on simple and comfortable occasions.

These 6 essential tips for the introverted hostess are the perfect way to get your feet wet when inviting people into your home!

1.  Start Small

No one ever said that you needed to have all of your extended family or the entire Sunday School class over for a meal. While that may be a wonderful goal at some point, it does not need to be the first feat you tackle when you are easing your way into inviting people into your home.

Start with a girlfriend, or just a couple. Once you are comfortable with that, then you can dive into the world of having larger groups.

2. Start with the Familiar

As an introvert, we by nature have an easier time conversing with those that know us well. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s who we are.

It is okay to start with the familiar when you are learning to extend hospitality. Invite people who know you well first, then over time you can make the bold move to invite those who are in need of hospitality or those you don’t know well.

Good friends are usually happy to be genie pigs. They already accept you for how you are, and as time goes on you will continue to develop the art of being comfortable with having others in your home.

3. Keep it Simple

Who ever said that welcoming people into your home needed to be a fancy affair?

Throw off the advice of 1950s TV show and handbooks (though I dearly gleaning from them at times) and keep things simple. You don’t have to have a full-blown dinner party where people are dressed to the nines.

It can be as simple as having a friend over for a coffee date, or tea and scones, which is my personal favourite. Some of the deepest conversations have been had over a cup of tea with a friend in my living room.

Create a semi-calm environment.

This really depends on who you are having over. If a friend came over in the late evening, after the kids were in bed, my soothing playlist and a pot of tea were the essentials for a quiet chat with a friend.

5 Essential Tips for the Introverted

4. Have a Set Menu

If you are having someone over for a meal, cook what you love. 

One of my go-to meals is a Mexican meal of beans, rice, meat, and corn tortillas (bought), with fresh salsa.

Beans can simmer in the crock pot all day, white rice, let’s just be honest here showcases flavors better takes less than 30 minutes to cook. I often use my salsa base in my rice. Ground meat is fast cooking and perfect to toss with any verity of vegetables hanging out in the fridge.

You can even make some of it with your guests there.While it sounds complicated, it’s not.

My mom is known for delighting people with soup, homemade bread, and a salad.

The simple things that we love to cook are always best.

If you aren’t up for hosting a dinner, game nights are always a win in my book.

Games can be fast passed or a bit slower. Fast passed games keep you on your toes and don’t require much talking. Slower ones give you time to bond over a relaxing game.

Popcorn, iced tea, and another drink like kombucha, are all you need to keep people happy.

For my not so little clan birthdays consisted of joining us for pizza, ice cream, lots of laughter, and maybe a movie.

Tea? Sure fancy dresses are fun but that’s not how I roll so tea might just be, getting out some blankets, a couple types of scones, and a pot of tea with lots of sunshine.

Can you tell I am a fan of tea and scones? I even wrote a book about making your own simple, nourishing teas and tea time treats!

5. Forget the Perfect House

Invite people into your crazy.

In my years as a dorm mom, I had up to 16 girls running around. There was rarely a quiet moment. Granted, most of the people I had over were staff that were like family but I loved it!

With 18 people sharing the same, very small living space is was never 100% clean or fancy, unless you count the ten minutes on a Saturday when we were just finished cleaning. Ten minutes might even be pushing it.

Give up on perfect, that’s okay. It lets people get a glimpse into the everyday life.

Do I believe in trying to maintain an organized space? Yes but I’ve given up on perfect. As long as our living area where people were joining us was neat(ish) I was fine.

5 Essential Tips for the Introverted

6. Make a Recovery Plan

Be sure to allow yourself (and family) time to recover.

Have planned out what you will do after everyone goes home. Maybe it’s a cup of tea and a good book. Is it a movie with the kids? A relaxing bath with a piece of dark chocolate?

Do whatever it takes for you and your family to wind down, and rejuvenate. Remember, the goal is to want to continue to extend hospitality to others. It is not to feel burned out and want to mentally run away and the mere thought of having people over again.

Do you enjoy inviting people into your home? If not, what is holding you back?

My Favourite Things- A World Where There are Octobers


October is a wonderful time of year, don’t you think?

As the leaves start to turn colors and drift to the ground my heart breaths a sigh of contentment. I agree with Anne Shirley, I am glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.

Autumn is the Central Valley is not the quite picturesque a what you see in the Anne movies, or in calendars. We don’t have the vibrant colors everywhere you turn. Just last week we had temps that almost reached 100.

I have been harvesting tomatoes, zucchini, and pumpkins alongside each other for the past couple weeks.

Yet the cool mornings remind you that fall is trying to settle in. When I was walking with my mom a few days ago, I was delighted by the maple trees that have started to turn red. Little things like that remind me of what time of year it is.

Spring is my favourite time of year, but fall is a very close second. I like to find joy in every season. This morning I am blessed with early morning rain showers, yet another proof that fall is here to stay.

Favourite Reads

Fresh Days and Fresh Starts (For Practices for Fall) @ Mason Jar Values

The Need for Routine (If You Want to Eat Well) @ The Nourishing Gourmet

Fall Quinoa @ An Appetite for Joy

 Favourite Fall Inspired Recipes

Homemade Chilie Mocha

Easy DIY Pumpkin Pie Spice Blend

Soaked Apple Cinnamon Muffins

Creamy Butternut Squash Pasta Sauce with Bacon and Rosemary 

Are you glad that we live in a world where there are Octobers?


My Favourite Things (There is Beauty Everywhere You Look)

Beauty MFT

There is beauty everywhere you look. It might be hard to see at first, but it is there.

Maybe it’s a child you work with at a local school, who’s face lights up when they see you at the grocery store.

Perhaps it’s watching your baby sleep. It could be someone enjoying the baked goods you made, even though they don’t know you were the baker.

Maybe beauty looks like the tomatoes you harvested fresh off the vine. Or it might be the cup of coffee you savor each morning while you have a few quiet moments with God.

Perhaps it is an old mason jar filled with wildflowers.

If there is anything I have learned this year, it is to embrace life and find joy in the little things each day.

It is like the apostle Paul says, “I have learned the secret of being content“. If Paul stuck in Roman prison can say that, then surely I can find the simple joys in each day.

I am learning to enjoy each day as it comes and to greet the day with a simple heart of thanksgiving. Some days it comes easily, other days it doesn’t.

Laura Ingalls Wilder has always been a source of inspiration to me. The simple reminder to enjoy the little things in life and the beauty they afford is just the what I need in this season of life.

Remember that there is beauty everywhere you look.

If you have a few moments this weekend, make yourself a nice cup of tea or coffee and enjoy these posts that I have enjoyed!

Favourite Links

Homemade Bouillon Portable Soup @ Nourished Kitchen

Paleo Teriyaki Chicken (Soy Free) @ The Nourishing Gourmet

15 Ways to Simplify Your Life and Home @ Richly Rooted

10 Secrets Missionaries Keep @ Carrie Talbot Ink

Finding a Wealth of Free or Cheap Audiobooks @ Passionate Homemaking

What simple things have you been finding beauty in recently?





For the #momfail Days (And a Free Video Series for Moms)

Dishes are piled up in the sink. You’re pulling clean underwear out of the dryer for your potty training toddler. Your kids need a bath (and a haircut, too). Dinner is looking like scrambled eggs (again). And you’re pretty sure you didn’t win any awards for “the Most Patient and Gentle Mommy” today.

When I look back over my years as a dorm mama to my sweet girls I think about some of the things that could happen in a day…

One of my middle girls decided to let the older girls pierce her ears, with a dirty sewing needle…. Same said child, was peroxiding her hair for over a week before I noticed.

One of my little girls was hoarding some of her dirty clothes…

….that day I was doing laundry only to find a pile of poop in someone’s underwear. 

One of my sweet thing’s tongue was blue because she tried to eat marker…

…The preteen decided it was a good idea to press the hair dryer into the new carpet. Same child melted carpet on the other end of the house with an iron.

….a couple of my other preteens kids forgot to shut the chickens in for the night, now my front lawn (AKA, the patch of dirt and weeds) was now covered in feathers….

The time I decided to cut one of my girl’s hair myself, oh yes, that was GREAT….You would like I would have learned…

The list can go on… (Belive me it does). If Instagram had been around in my early to mid-20s so many of my days would have been #momfail days.

Can you relate? 

In fact, on days like this you might be tempted to judge yourself even more harshly than that. Not only were you not at your best, but actually, you’re a terrible mom. A pathetic homemaker. The day was a disaster. You probably deserve an F minus in motherhood.

And on and on goes the litany in your head as you stew about the ways you didn’t match up or weren’t enough or were too whatever (angry, critical, impatient, disorganized, fill in the blank).

You snap a shot of your depressing laundry pile after the kids go to bed and share it on Instagram with a self-deprecating comment and the hashtag #momfail. It’s only meant as a joke, of course, but deep down it feels a little truer than you wish it did.

If this sounds even remotely familiar, you need to know two things:

  1. You are not. Most of us feel this way far more than we ever admit.
  2. All the ways you failed?? How awful you did today or last week? It’s just not true. You’re doing better than you think.

I’ve had these sorts of days myself, and it’s precisely because I get it that I’m so excited to point you in the direction of this brand new (and free!) video series created by two moms who have lived their fair share of #momfail days.

Stephanie and Beth are not only popular bloggers, but they’re also moms in the trenches. They’ve got 8 kids and almost 20 years of mothering experience between them.

They also understand and have the deepest compassion for moms who are working their tails off, but still hitting the pillow at night with a heavy heart and tear-stained face, because they feel like they’re failing at one of the most important things they’ll ever do in their lives.

And so they’ve put together an honest, candid and incredibly encouraging series of three videos just for moms. It’s called “The Truth About #MomFail Culture: 10 Things You Need to Hear on the Hard Days”.

It won’t solve all your problems, and much as they wish they could, they can’t reach through the computer and fold that pile’o’laundry for you. But we can all benefit from a fresh perspective and encouragement from someone who really gets it.

Each video is short – around 10 minutes, and you can watch it on any sort of device and whenever you’ve got a few spare minutes.

To watch the video series, just click this link and enter your name and email to sign up. You’ll get access to the first video today, and then one per day after that.

God’s Gifts and Our Dreams

God's Gifts and Our Dreams-

“God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.”

As we find ourselves in the final days of Advent I really like this quote from Elizabeth Barret Browning.

A few days ago I was reading my Advent devotional, the author used the quote in reference to Zachariah and Elizabeth. Never could they have dreamed that God would use their years of bareness to give birth to the forerunner of Christ.

I’m sure their dreams were for a household of children and grandchildren, but God (those are two powerful words don’t you think?) had other plans. He chose them to be the parents of one special child, John the Baptist.

God had bigger dreams than they could possibly imagine. Zachariah’s response more than clearly shows that he could never have dreamed of such a great gift, that he didn’t understand even when an angel was there telling him!

God's Gifts and Our

I would be the first to admit that I have gone through seasons of feeling barren, thinking that God’s gifts and plans couldn’t possibly be better than what I had imagined.

Time after time he proves me wrong. It may take me a few months or even years to see that but in the end, I see that my dreams are nothing in compare to what God’s gifts are.

Even now I don’t always see it but I continually get a glimpse of what I wanted and what God gave in different seasons of life instead.

I’ll be honest, I’m struggling with it again, but God has gifts that he wants me to open that I can’t even begin to imagine. For me, the struggle is generally the desire to marry and have a family.

Being single at 30 isn’t easy but then I look at the faces of the girls he gave me to raise for 10 years and I remind myself that these gifts of mine were so worth it. I wouldn’t wish the chance to raise one of these girls away, how could I?

God's Gifts and Our

What dreams are you clinging to?

Is is marriage?

Is it the desire to finally hold a baby of your own in your arms?

A home of your own?

That promotion at work?

Don’t let go of those dreams, keep praying for them but hold them loosely beloved ladies.

God's Gifts and Our

The wait is excruciating and heartwrenching at times. It is so hard when we don’t see the bigger picture; when we don’t have God’s lenses to look through.

It is okay to grieve but don’t let it eclipse what God is doing. Take time in the here and now to embrace the life he is giving you to live now, even when it doesn’t make sense. God’s gifts and our dreams may not be the same, but those gifts will be worth it!

God's Gifts and Our

What devotional am I uses right now? Ann Voskamp’s “The Greatest Gift“.

Related Posts:

What gifts has God given you?